How to Have a Weekly Relationship Check-In
Whether or not you are in couples counseling, you and your partner can benefit from having a weekly relationship check-in to prevent minor issues from growing into major conflicts. A check-in is different from spending quality time together or going on a date; the intention is to speak about the relationship and your needs. These check-ins can help you stay connected, identify any issues that need to be addressed, and make sure you're both on the same page about the relationship.
Here are some tips for how to do it:
1. Make it a Ritual: Set aside time each week for your check-in; it can be helpful to choose a specific day and time each week so that you both know when to expect it. Make sure you choose a time when you're both available and not distracted by other obligations. A morning coffee, a dinner date, a walk around the neighborhood- come up with your own weekly ritual to check-in.
2. Share Positives: Begin your check-in by sharing something positive with your partner. This can be anything from a compliment to something you appreciate about them. Some examples:
“Thank you for taking care of ____ this week. I really appreciate it".”
“I enjoyed when we had time to go out to dinner together on Friday.”
“_____ made me feel closer to you this week.”
“I noticed that you are really good at _____.”
“I am so glad you are in my life. I love you.”
3. Ask open-ended questions: Use open-ended questions to encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about the relationship. Avoid asking yes or no questions, as these can limit the conversation. Some examples of open-ended questions include:
How are you feeling about our relationship right now?
Is there anything you've been thinking about lately that you’d like to share with me?
What are some things that are making you happy right now?
How can I make you feel loved this week?
4. Listen actively: When your partner is speaking, make sure you're actively listening to what they're saying. Avoid interrupting or getting defensive, even if you don't agree with what they're saying. Make sure you're giving them your full attention.
5. Share your own thoughts and feelings: It's important to be open and honest with your partner about your own thoughts and feelings. This can help you both understand each other better and identify any issues that need to be addressed. Try to use “I” statements to avoid blaming or criticizing.
6. End on a positive note: As your check-in comes to a close, make sure you end on a positive note. This can be as simple as expressing your love for each other or making plans for something fun to do together.
Having a weekly relationship check-in can be a great way to stay connected with your partner and make sure your relationship is on the right track. By setting aside time to listen to each other, share your thoughts and feelings, and work together to address any issues, you can strengthen your relationship and build a stronger foundation for the future.
If you want to work on your relationship in couples therapy, reach out on our Contact Page.
